Open season
The newest trend in the SLC Christian community?
Marriage!
If you're not in on it, almost in on it, or thinking about it...you're definitely out of the loop.
If you're a single Christian between the ages of 19 and 35 in Northern Utah, you have 2 choices.
You can do things the “normal way”, or do things “God’s way”.
The “normal way” consists of restaurants, bars, and other large places filled with people you don’t know. Everyone vs. everyone else. Big time competition. Because Christian churches organize these events they’re widely accepted, and attendance is high. The “traditional” method of dating, which I lovingly call “dating for sport” is seen as perfectly ok because, hey, the person (or people) you’re dating is (or are) Christian.
“God’s way” is much more passive. You have a group of about 40 people that you know pretty well. You do things in groups (anywhere from 3 to everyone can be involved). No dating. No one on one time between men and women. Supposedly, the way marriage comes about in these groups is as follows:
After being friends for a period of time, you can start thinking things like, “this person is always serving, they look out for and care about other people, I kinda like their personality…they might be The One God has for me!” You pray, talk to your close friends, talk to the Pastors, pray some more, and if you’re really lucky, one of THEIR close friends will tell you that person feels the same way. If you’re really bold, and pretty sure of the other person’s feelings, you can approach them yourself, but that’s tricky because you don’t want the friendship to be ruined and/or there to be any awkwardness in the group as a whole.
I must admit, the whole thing makes me raise an eyebrow, but to my shock and amazement, it seems to work.
Kim and Steele got married in June.
Lauren and Dax are getting married tonight.
Ryan and Christina will be engaged before Christmas, I’m sure.
But it makes me wonder if people are just catching marriage fever. You see it around you, you want it for yourself, and you find someone who feels the same way.
So what’s a girl to do if she doesn’t think either way is “correct”?
The “normal way” is definitely not for me, but “God’s way” is posing its problems as well.
I LOVE my church. I LOVE the people in it. I LOVE having the chance to be involved in the inner workings of the church: cleaning, coffee, music, media, outreach, discipleship…the list goes on and on. But The Rock’s approach to dating has already put me in some tight spots.
Nevermind the fact that my heart belongs to another, I’m just plain not ready for any kind of romantic relationship and that seems to be an unknown concept in the church. If God brings someone into your life, that means He’s trying to tell you that you ARE ready, no matter how un-ready you think you are.
How many Christian couples (no matter how they approach the subject of dating) are just settling because they don’t think there’s anything better out there?
OR…how many people do something because they think God is telling them to do it, when I believe there’s hard evidence that God doesn’t have one plan or one job or one spouse picked out for you? (See the book Decision Making and the Will of God: A Biblical Alternative to the Traditional View)
Questions for the cosmos I guess…
Marriage!
If you're not in on it, almost in on it, or thinking about it...you're definitely out of the loop.
If you're a single Christian between the ages of 19 and 35 in Northern Utah, you have 2 choices.
You can do things the “normal way”, or do things “God’s way”.
The “normal way” consists of restaurants, bars, and other large places filled with people you don’t know. Everyone vs. everyone else. Big time competition. Because Christian churches organize these events they’re widely accepted, and attendance is high. The “traditional” method of dating, which I lovingly call “dating for sport” is seen as perfectly ok because, hey, the person (or people) you’re dating is (or are) Christian.
“God’s way” is much more passive. You have a group of about 40 people that you know pretty well. You do things in groups (anywhere from 3 to everyone can be involved). No dating. No one on one time between men and women. Supposedly, the way marriage comes about in these groups is as follows:
After being friends for a period of time, you can start thinking things like, “this person is always serving, they look out for and care about other people, I kinda like their personality…they might be The One God has for me!” You pray, talk to your close friends, talk to the Pastors, pray some more, and if you’re really lucky, one of THEIR close friends will tell you that person feels the same way. If you’re really bold, and pretty sure of the other person’s feelings, you can approach them yourself, but that’s tricky because you don’t want the friendship to be ruined and/or there to be any awkwardness in the group as a whole.
I must admit, the whole thing makes me raise an eyebrow, but to my shock and amazement, it seems to work.
Kim and Steele got married in June.
Lauren and Dax are getting married tonight.
Ryan and Christina will be engaged before Christmas, I’m sure.
But it makes me wonder if people are just catching marriage fever. You see it around you, you want it for yourself, and you find someone who feels the same way.
So what’s a girl to do if she doesn’t think either way is “correct”?
The “normal way” is definitely not for me, but “God’s way” is posing its problems as well.
I LOVE my church. I LOVE the people in it. I LOVE having the chance to be involved in the inner workings of the church: cleaning, coffee, music, media, outreach, discipleship…the list goes on and on. But The Rock’s approach to dating has already put me in some tight spots.
Nevermind the fact that my heart belongs to another, I’m just plain not ready for any kind of romantic relationship and that seems to be an unknown concept in the church. If God brings someone into your life, that means He’s trying to tell you that you ARE ready, no matter how un-ready you think you are.
How many Christian couples (no matter how they approach the subject of dating) are just settling because they don’t think there’s anything better out there?
OR…how many people do something because they think God is telling them to do it, when I believe there’s hard evidence that God doesn’t have one plan or one job or one spouse picked out for you? (See the book Decision Making and the Will of God: A Biblical Alternative to the Traditional View)
Questions for the cosmos I guess…
posted by Lisa @ 6:22 PM
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