Hope

I was telling God that I wish it could be all or nothing with a certain situation in my life. I'm sicik of analyizing. I'm sick of hoping. I'm sick of disappointment.

THEN...

(I'm amazed at how God puts ideas in my little insignificant brain)

I realized I'm putting my hope in the wrong thing(s). Instead of putting my hope into a person or a situation or a circumstance, and instead of saying, "I put my trust in You," and stopping there, I need to say, "GOD IS MY HOPE."

So there I was, feeling pretty good about myself, and I thought, "Hey, there's a few verses about hope in the Bible, I'll look them up!".

158 verses with the word hope.

Suddenly I didn't feel so hot. How many times had I read all of those verses? Dozens? And I'm just now getting the true meaning behind them. It made me wish that I could see what God was really saying every time I read a Bible verse, but then I thought my head might explode with all the info.

My favorite verse was Micah 7:7
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

God gives good gifts

Here's my favorite thing that God has given me today...a few paragraphs from Charles Spurgeon's book Joy in Christ's Presence.

The heart is by nature as restless as the ocean's waves. It seeks an object for its affection, and when it finds one beneath the stars, it is doomed to sorrow.

The more tender the heart, the greater its unrest.

To such individuals, the Lord Jesus says, "Come unto me...and I will give you rest."

Look here, you loving ones, for here is a refuge for your wounded love! You may delight yourselves in the Well Beloved and never fear that He will fail or forget you. Love will not be wasted, however much it may be lavished upon Jesus. He deserves it all, and He requites it all. In loving Him, the heart finds a delicious contentment.

I walk the line

Partly just a thought, partly a reminder for me to think about this when I run out of other things to think about...

There has to be a fine line between being extremely passive because you think God will do everything for you, and being extremely worried because you don't know what to do or what's coming next.
Of course I'm not talking about things that really are out of your control...in that case the only thing you can do is wait for God to work. But things that you do have some control over...

It seems like I've been at both ends of the spectrum. Neither of them are particularly healthy, and both of them can be pretty joyless. There has to be a spot in the middle where you're productive, but still trusting God for your future. I should probably start looking for it.

I'm a Carrie.

The older I get and the more I think about it, the more I realize how closely Sex and the City resembles my life.

Minus the sex.

And the $400 shoes.

And NYC, although the city will be mine for a few days in August.

So I guess it's not exactly my life, but it's close. The friendships. The unspoken obsession with finding the person you want to share your whole life with. Not settling for something less than everything you want. And, most importantly, Big.

That's all.