Yay God!

Gloria in excelsis Deo.
Et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis.
Laudamus te.
Benedicimus te.
Adoramus te.
Glorificamus te.
Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam gloriam tuam.

http://www.cpdl.org/wiki/index.php/Gloria

And besides...

I love heels WAY too much.

Questions

(The first stemmed from the second, as questions often do)
Why does it seem like the only time I cry is right as I'm about to put my eyeliner on?

Am I sitting on the edge of greatness? Or am I watching as it gets farther and farther away from me? Maybe both...but I can't see the future and the past is easy to remember.
I was telling some friends last week that logic usually takes precedence over what I feel, and it really is true. If I start thinking about it, I can easily see the potential the future has (and what I have experienced pales in comparison). True, I don't know any details, but that's what makes it fun. However...when I do start thinking like that I turn right back around and, again, yearn for what I had. Which poses another question:
Why do I want to feel like this?

Didn't I say I was done? It wasn't the same subject, but I am finished with those feelings regardless of what causes them.

You're done.
You're done for.
You're done for good.

Psalm 35:17-?

God, how long are you going to stand there doing nothing?
You’re not going to walk off without doing something are you?
Please get up – wake up! Tend to my case. But those who want the best , Let them have the last word – a glad shout! – and say, over and over and over, “God is great- everything works together for good for his servant.” I’ll tell the world how great and good you are, I’ll shout Hallelujah all day, every day.

Life lesson #43

Some of life's best lessons
are learned at the worst times.
-Ani DiFranco

If God blatantly and completely says "no" to something that you want with all your heart, and that by all indications is perfectly in line with His will, that has to mean He has something better in store for you. Even if you can't imagine something better than what you had...like Steele says, God is our "good dad". He knows what we want better than we do, and He wants to give us His best.

These days I find myself
wanting something that I lost
a long long time ago
ghost of a memory that haunts me
the way that it was
a long long time ago...
But the love that You give
is the love that I need.

From tragedy to triumph?

My stepmom's friend Claudia, who is really close to my whole family, tried to commit suicide on Monday. Her son called my stepmom and she and my dad went over to Claudia's house. My dad ended up calling poison control and taking her to the hospital. Right now she's in an inpatient psychiatric facility.

It was such a shock because that's so out of character. It goes against everything she believes in and her whole philosophy of life. But I see it as an opportunity. She knows what I believe, she knows the fundamentals of Christianity, and she's seen me go through an amazing transformation in the past year after giving my life back to God. I know so many people who have finally embraced Him only after they've sunk as low as they possibly can and realize that nothing else will give them true fulfillment. I'm hoping that God will use the situation, and possibly use me, to build His kingdom.
And it's not just Claudia that can be reached, my stepmom said to me, "I guess I'll have to be strong for her now," and I had the chance to say you don't have to depend on your strength alone. Nothing huge, but it might be a step.

Jealousy

I have found that the best way to combat feelings of jealousy (which I've been feeling a lot lately) is to pray for God to bless the person you're jealous of.
For instance:
There's a girl I know who shares the same passion that I do. Singing. She's interested in singing during our church services. She's really humble about it and right now she's trying to see what options she has, but every time the subject comes up in conversation I start to get extremely jealous, nervous, bitter, hateful...all these awful emotions. I don't want to be that kind of person.
I was thinking about that on the way home from work tonight, and the idea of praying FOR this girl, praying for God to give her what she wants, came to me. Proof positive that God's spirit is active in our lives because in my flesh I really want to be angry and hateful towards her. But thankfully God won out, and I started praying for her.
It's not an easy thing to do, but it definitely works.

The thing is, I don't have to have all these negative emotions because I believe that my God knows what I want and is able to provide me with opportunities beyond my wildest dreams. AND, I believe He's big enough to orchestrate that while also making other people's dreams come true.

GREAT verse

Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless.
Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them.

Psalm 10:17 NLT

Cares Chorus

I cast all my cares
upon You
I lay all of my burdens
down at Your feet
and any time
I don't know
what to do
I just cast all my cares
upon You.

My parents used to sing me to sleep almost every night and this is the only song I really remember. I remember after the divorce my mom singing and playing it on the piano. Even now it gives me the same feeling it did when I was 4 years old. This overwhelming sense of peace that is unlike any other feeling I have.

It's been on the tip of my tongue every day for the past month.

I don't think our bodies and our minds were created to handle everything this broken world throws at us. I think sometimes we have to say, "I have NO clue. Take it God, it's all yours."

Much easier said than done...

Which Jesus do you serve?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by
on the other side
Or fall down and worship
at His holy feet?

Pretty blue eyes
and curly brown hair
and a clear complexion
is how you see Him as He dies for your sins
But the word says
He was battered and scarred
or did you miss that part?
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize him

My Jesus
bled and died for my sins
He spent his time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Not a posterchild for American prosperity,
but like my Jesus
I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I wanna be like my Jesus.

-Todd Agnew

This is one of those songs that makes me cry EVERY time I hear it. And I don't mean one or two tears, I'm talking all out, full fledged crying. The words are so powerful.